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April 09, 2004

you want to travel with him

Chapter Seveteen done (for now).

There was a period of time between 1998 and 2000 where it felt like every time I reconciled with one death, another would strike.

I lost two friends (Suz and Karen) in the last year and a half. They were one-of-a-kind, inspiring souls. They knew my name, I knew theirs, we shared dinner, we shared stories. Karen introduced me to spider rolls. I still own some of Suz's gardening implements and have envy for her gardening skills. And....

I came to a realization at some point that when you have a lot of friends, you have to accept that losing them comes hand in hand with cherishing them. I didn't want to lose Suz or Karen or Nora or Roger or Marion or my grandfather. But never having known them would have been a worse tragedy.

If ever I had a reason to rail against Death, Nora's passing was it. But it also woke me up. It put me in a position to realize I was allowing myself to be used, and it got me out of that place.

So Seventeen is done. And tonight's class was awesome (thanks, Mort) and moody as I am, I am going to bed. Night.

Posted by sdshaver at April 9, 2004 11:29 PM