November 30, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 39 (one scene from done)
Yep. One scene from done. Interesting stuff. It's all interesting stuff, though. Yay fertile imagination!
I made oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies. They're yummy.
I have no witty quote, because my background music right now is in Japanese, and I haven't the will at 2:30 AM to go look it up for you. So sorry.
Posted by sdshaver at 02:31 AM
November 29, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 39 - balalaika's ringing out
Lunch break. Four pages written. And the book suddenly caught fire again. But it's going to add more chapters, I feel it in mah boooones.
When I'm having trouble with the story (as was happening with 39), I do one of three things: a) I play a game (this does not help and is an escape tactic), b) I draw (this often does help), or c) I talk to myself as the characters (this always helps, but scares the crap out of the cats). My co-workers are probably wondering why I was in the lunchroom growling to myself in Erim and Qeta's voices. OH BOY OH BOY SHE'S A CRAZY ONE. Yeah, but it WORKS.
Even if I don't save words I STILL think this ending is stronger than the anticlimactical one I wrote originally. The book obviously wants to be 43 chapters long. I guess I'm just going to have to live with that.
I should finish 39 tonight, post-class. Also, I'm deliriously happy because after a month of sitting on my dryer, my clothes got put away. YAY ME.
WRITING. It's the new excuse for not doing housework.
- I'm a hunter for hire with no plans to retire
And all the sucka mc's can call me sire
Posted by sdshaver at 02:33 PM
REVISIONS - ch. 38 (done)
So I didn't get to 39, but I wrote all new material for 38, so I have a good reason for that.
39 tomorrow. The end is nigh.
So....
While searching through the files tonight, trying to find something, I ran across the 1999 version of the book (then called Black Crown, White Crown). For the curious...it's been in flux since I was 23, when Myr appeared on my doorstep and said she had a story to tell.
Under the "MORE" link, I'm including a clip from the now totally unrelated book I started in 1999. It would evolve into what I'm writing today.
Myr acts more like Rain in this clip. Rain absorbed a lot of the silliness I need to express when I write.
Also? I wrote this five years ago. You've been warned.
I'm resisting the urge to edit it. Here it is, then, in all its dubious glory.
* * *
The embankment leading up to the road beckoned Myr as she tromped toward it, listening to the forest sounds around her. Birds and the drone of cicadas that rose and fell like the tide, the clicks and cracks of her movement and the scurry of frightened animals. And the dull thud of horse hooves, coming from the road ahead....
She froze instantly, listening to the approaching hammer of a horse moving at a steady trot. There were two horses in the neighboring village, and none of them moved that well. It was probably a stranger.
Out here? she thought, and glanced around her. There were trees edging the road, many of them tall enough to form a natural archway over it. Without a second thought she went for the one closest to the road and climbed quickly up it, edging out onto a branch that brought her forward to get a better view. Though the tree creaked a little, it seemed solid. Nestled in, she began to examine the one who approached.
It was a man -- or so it seemed. He wasn't dressed like a woman, so she was assuming for now that it was indeed a man. His face was lost beneath the wide rim of a traveler's hat. The horse he rode was piebald, well outfitted, and loaded lightly. He was not, then, a peddler, or if he was he had little to peddle.
As he drew closer she noticed that he was unarmed, or seemed to be. He wore a long half-cloak that was a dull gray color; it was hard to tell if he concealed anything under it.
He was now just underneath her, but hadn't seemed to notice her; not that he should have. He hadn't looked up, and she hadn't been in view from her perch.
But regardless, as he came underneath the tree she was tucked up in, he stopped his horse.
She froze solid, her heart suddenly hammering in her chest.
He lifted his head and looked up at her.
She stared back.
"Hello there," he said softly.
She said nothing, thinking for some obscene reason that if she stayed still, he might still not see her.
"Hello?" he repeated.
She remained still for a moment more, than said, cautiously, "Hello." And added, on impulse, "Don't mind me. I'm just an, um, apple."
"An apple?" He blinked at her.
"Yes," she replied, nodding.
"Hunh." He scratched his chin. "Very strange fruit that grows in these parts."
"Bet you've never seen a talking apple."
"I can't say I have. I did see a talking pear once, though."
"Oh?" She shifted on her perch. "That must have been odd."
"It was. Are you going to come down?"
Myr looked at her feet, then at the branch they were steadied on. "Eventually."
"Would you like some help?"
She shook her head. "Who are you?" she inquired, shifting her weight.
He smiled, and reached up to pull off his hat. He had a full beard, and looked dusty and oily -- his hair was dark underneath the hat, and gleamed with sweat. "My name is Merod," he replied, bowing in the saddle. "This is Lad." He patted the horse’s neck. "And you are?"
She shifted again. “What are you here for?” she asked instead, not bothering to answer him just yet.
He blinked, put his hat back on, and cocked his head at her. "I am looking for someone," he said.
"Who?" she asked.
"For a piece of fruit, you ask a lot of questions," he replied. "I'll tell you who I'm looking for if you tell me who you are...."
* * *
Whoo. Merod never appears again in my stories after that clip. Too bad. He was probably a fun guy.
Posted by sdshaver at 12:33 AM
November 28, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 37 / 38
I finished 37, and got halfway through 38. Class tomorrow, and then I will come home and finish 38, probably 39, and maybe outline 40.
Read Bleak Seasons. It would have probably been much bleaker if a friend hadn't spoiled me on the big important plotpoint two years ago.
Hurray for four day weekends. Hurray for soaking for two hours in a tub. And hurray for finishing this thing again with a tighter ending.
Posted by sdshaver at 02:01 AM
November 27, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 36 - tessie
Eyes are heavy, but 36 is done and I have a nebulous line-per-scene outline for 37. It looks like this:
X does stuff with V.
*
Y and Z go here.
*
W discovers Y and Z.
*
W has another freaky dream.
Giggle all you want. It works.
The goal is to do 37 and 38 tomorrow. Big story ending will be in 39, I think. Maybe 40. Goal is to do four chapters between now and Sunday night, and kick back into revisions from then until the fucker is DONE.
I'm going crazy with revisions. Thank God for Dropkick Murphys, Pain, Bad Religion, and the Bleach fansubs.
- She doesn't know the meaning of her sight
She's got a comment full of love
Posted by sdshaver at 02:43 AM
November 24, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 35 (done)
Finished redoing Chapter 35, and removed yet another superfluous plotpoint that stuck out the side of my head.
Chapter 36 is mostly outlined. Plan is to finish the book by 40 (shaving off three chapters and a superfluous epilogue).
EDIT: The password is...superfluous.
- Isn't it all alarmingly familiar?
Hey, hey, hey, silence is a killer
Posted by sdshaver at 02:33 AM
November 23, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 35 (not quite done)
Wrote a few pages. Didn't quite get it done. Work kept me working till 8:30 PM. Tomorrow, maybe.
It's very late. I am to bed.
Posted by sdshaver at 02:27 AM
November 22, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 35
Four pages in 35. Will try to finish it tomorrow night.
I figure five more chapters before it's finished. I'm pretty sure I can tie it up by the end of the week, then go back and start from chapter 22 with the printed revision process.
Which means the new schedule for first readers is beginning to mid-December sometime, barring high weirdness.
Big yawn! Night!
- And if you peel back my skin
You’ll probably see a whole gang in there
Of people, mainly thieves and freaks
A liar and a scary man
Posted by sdshaver at 01:19 AM
November 21, 2004
REVISE - ch. 34 - zuccanoe
Chapter 34 has been overwritten and cannibalized. Chapter 35 has been outlined.
There is a very bad (but amusing) reference to a Kevin Smith movie in 34. We'll see if it stays. It titillates me because I am easily amused.
I have been promised free Mexican food tonight, and so I must now eject the cat from my lap and go upstairs to change. Also, I have about nine rows done on my scarf -- only, oh, two hundred or so to go! It looks like a braindead wombat made it, but it's MINE (and it's blue).
I'd like to make a Gryffindor scarf next.
I shall return tonight, and write further into Chapter 35.
- getting strong
it takes too long
to become like Henry Rollins
Posted by sdshaver at 06:46 PM
November 20, 2004
REVISE - ch. 33 - braaaaains
Cannabalized bits for chapter 33. It's now fleshed out. And lots stronger (I feel).
This was the chapter of the secondary characters. Ishna, Eril, and Qeta all get some great lines.
I want to learn to knit!
- I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?
Posted by sdshaver at 01:52 AM
November 19, 2004
ch. 33 - crap on a stick
Yeah, that was a better scene. I think the difficult stuff is over for now. Enh. Or not. Weekend is coming at least. Yay! Monkeys.
I had a ridiculously extravagant meal with Melissa, Matt, and Jeff. I shall be cursing it next week, I'm sure, but tonight it went down pretty damn swell.
Ramen and cup o' noodles for me the rest of the month!
- I don’t mean to be pompous or mean.
Try to love each other --
That’s the way it should be,
But don’t you think that maybe every once in a while
A good fist fight makes everyone smile?
Posted by sdshaver at 02:14 AM
November 18, 2004
ch. 32 - revisions
Last line for the night: "It appears we have much to discuss."
So far I'm doing good on the condensing. Thirty-two is done in rough form. Thirty-three will be more cannabalizing, though I suspect I'll completely rewrite one scene which was a pretty major reveal that I kind of glossed over. In this version, I've done better at alluding to it rather than just dropping it in the reader's lap (a practice I detest).
Okay, go to bed, Steph.
To bed, Steph!
- To the living we owe respect,
but to the dead we owe only the truth.
-Voltaire
Posted by sdshaver at 02:21 AM
November 17, 2004
ch. 32 - revisions
Some revising done, and stronger scenes hath emerged. Yea.
Translation: Minor revisions to 17 and 31, one major one to 16 and further writings into 32. Lest some of you despair that I'm playing WoW, I'll have you know I didn't tonight. The book is fighting with my Undead Warlock. The book is winning.
Yep. I can finish this over Thanksgiving and do edits the week after. Sure.
The goal is to slice off a few chapters, for those of you playing along at home. I also removed a whole subplot that didn't do much for the story. Actually, I've effectively removed two as of tonight. You're thrilled, I know.
- Never mind the poultry,
I’d rather stay at home
I hope that my old lady’s feeling
like a lazy Jane
Posted by sdshaver at 12:53 AM
November 16, 2004
ch. 32 - updated
Some updates to Chapter 32 on Sunday night. Otherwise, I've extended my break a little by playing some World of Warcraft. That, Knights of the Old Republic (Xbox), and City of Heroes are the only three games this year that I can honestly say have been outstanding enough to rip me away from writing. The beta ends soon, and after that I probably won't play. Alas.
I'm going to do my best to finish the book over my coming up four day vacation. Wish me luck.
- always keeping in mind that I'm
as square as they come, well that's fine.
I'll spend all my money and time
spinning wheels on an incline.
Posted by sdshaver at 11:47 AM
November 11, 2004
ch. 31 - revised
Three new pages for chapter 31 written on lunch break. Going to Chicago tonight, weather permitting.
Mark, the answer is: "The light from the stars in the night sky above us...." Or something like that. And no, I still don't speak Japanese.
No work until Sunday night, when I return from Chicago (bang-bang). Bye-bye.
- And life without Pain is a long endless chain
Of errors repeated again and again
Posted by sdshaver at 11:49 AM
November 10, 2004
REVISIONS - numerous
Ayup. My quest for a tidier ending and fewer subplots mean my schedule's shot. Sorry.
The cat's trying to eat my nightgown. Obviously, this is a sign to go to bed.
I'm totally addicted to the fansubs of Bleach and I find it ironic that the author of the manga probably came up with the same word for cursed spirits ("hollow") that I did. Yay me. Tapped into the japanese psyche like...a...tappy thing.
Someone please license and translate this thing fast so I can enjoy it on DVD.
- miageta yozora no hoshitachi no hikari
Posted by sdshaver at 02:30 AM
November 09, 2004
REVISIONS - stuff
I'll probably be greatly revising chapters 31-43 in favor of a more tightly-wound ending. The current version is a little too scattered, and needs some condensing. Like soup. Mushroom soup. (Just add water and/or milk.)
Yes, it'll add time, and it'll blow my schedule, but it'll make for a tighter manuscript...I hope. And that's one of the nice things about not being on a contract. I can make these stupid decisions.
Going to bed now. EARLY.
- tiny robots, laser beams
space invaders are living my dreams
Posted by sdshaver at 12:56 AM
November 08, 2004
REVISIONS - many
Iron Skillet. It's a restaurant where everything is made better by serving all items in an iron skillet.
Three things about iron skillets: First, all pancakes I made this weekend? Made in an iron skillet. Second, the last time I went to an Iron Skillet restaurant was in Joplin, Missouri, on my drive up from California. Third, the reading at ShowMeCon, quite possibly the highlight of that weekend. And that's all I'll say.
Anyway, I came back and altered some stuff. Hopefully toward the better. And I whittled a little further into The Phoenix Guards, one of those books I tried to read in college and never quite got through.
And so, yes, I am back to work. What else is new?
- And as it seems to me
that if it was just a phase
it would've passed around eighteen
(but it didn't and I'm in it
past the point of giving in
so make your wagers
place your bets and
shut your mouths about regrets
and how we're screwed).
Posted by sdshaver at 01:14 AM
November 04, 2004
break
I'm taking a couple days off from Relentless Editing TM to go camping. Having consistently come in and worked on this thing the last month (on top of my day job and my other extracurricular activities), I think I need the break.
I'll be back to work Sunday night.
The goal is to have a finished readable manuscript by Turkeyday.
Gobble gobble.
Posted by sdshaver at 10:56 PM
REVISIONS - ch. 23-26
Hardcopy revisions of parts of 10 and 23-26, total rewrite to the opening of 23. No commitals tonight. I'm going to bed, you hear me? TO BED!
Really. I am. Night.
- Tilling my own grave to keep me level
Jam another dragon down the hole
Posted by sdshaver at 01:23 AM
November 03, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 22
Went on and did 21 last night when I said I was going to bed. Committed changes to Ch. 22 tonight, which brings the hardcopy revisions up to date.
Here's the problem. I've gone 125k words, and I've yet to explain how (most of) my magic works.
I'm also not sure it's self evident. And that worries me a little. Then again, it also makes me smile -- ten years ago there would have been an entire chapter of expositional babble.
I even remember that damn chapter. Oh god. Soooo awful. I've at least gotten beyond that.
But...going to need to do some backtracking. Hurray for Erim, the Hanged-Man-cum-Steve-Watson. EDIT: Added the change to the end of Chapter Ten. Sigh. I need to really go to bed earlier.
Full Metal Alchemist and Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex on Adult Swim starting this week. Ook ook ook.
- I've seen lonely days when I could not
find a friend
but I always thought I'd see you
again
Posted by sdshaver at 01:25 AM
November 02, 2004
REVISIONS - ch. 19-20
I committed the changes for two chapters and wrote a new scene in 21. Also, I think Erim is turning into Steve Watson.
Guilty pleasure alert: I watch Monster House...I graduated to that from Trading Spaces (or Changing Rooms, if I was feeling randy) and I watch it with a mixture of fascination and horror. Some of those houses are simply awful, and yet the homeowners are delighted. Amusement Park House? Yech. New York House? Blargh! Surfer Girl House? Well, that one was pretty cool, actually.... (As were the Zen House, the Moroccan House, and the Roman House.) And they had an episode with Mike Muir. Oh yes. THE Mike Muir.
But Steve, y'know...Steve's teh hawt.
Way hotter than that skank Jesse James over on Monster Garage.
PS: I watch Mythbusters, American Casino, and American Chopper, too. Yeah. I'm a Discovery Channel ho'.
- i'm not breaking down
i'm breaking out
Posted by sdshaver at 01:13 AM
November 01, 2004
REVISIONS - CH. 19-23
I didn't enter in the hardcopy edits, but I did go through four chapters, wrote a new scene, and had a massive headache and stayed home from work.
I think I've caught up on my sleep. If I'm still editing the hard copy by this weekend, it goes camping with me.
I hope to have revisions finished before Thanksgiving.
Sometimes I completely forget the things my characters say. I ran across a scene where one of them said something particularly nasty and it stunned me. In a good way.
I can't wait to be done with the Monster, so I can finally get some semblance of my life back. :P
Posted by sdshaver at 05:11 PM