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November 15, 2005
chapter 1 alternate (still chronic)
There's an episode of Chicago Hope where a woman with OCD has an overwhelming need to constantly cut her hair. In order to make her feel better, one of the doctors gives her a pair of plastic scissors -- she can't cut her hair, but she can go through the act of it, which makes her feel better.
Somewhere in the episode, she gets a hold of a real pair of scissors, and winds up bald and sobbing, much to the doctor's chagrin.
Chapter one has that power over me. I keep poking at and refining it and hoping it'll turn into something I'll be confident about, and every time I poke at it, the itch goes away. For a while.
Can't say I'm done with it, for to do so is to invite the subconscious to kick my ass. Suffice to say, I've beaten it up enough for now. Hopefully the next time I approach it I'll have a red pen in hand.
We'll see if I wind up bald and sobbing.
- you had time to waste
and I'm not sorry
such a basket case
hide the cutlery
Posted by sdshaver at November 15, 2005 01:04 AM