September 19, 2007
compare and contrast
The initial, raw paragraph:
- Dudana began to rock back and forth. The droning croon had resumed. She had her arms wrapped around her waist.
The first pass revision:
- Dudana wrapped her arms around her waist and began to rock back and forth. The droning croon resumed.
And that's why I don't like people reading my stuff until it's ready.
(It'll probably change again before I'm done.)
Posted by sdshaver at 11:28 AM
September 04, 2007
this time, in rhyme
Words were written.
Things were said.
Chew what we've bitten,
it's off to bed.
(Tired of sittin'
Eyelids of lead
Still I'm smitten
by Poison to the Dead.)
Posted by sdshaver at 02:49 AM